No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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