And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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