Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
