I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
