yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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