I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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