i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
