The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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