my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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