I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
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So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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