This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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