I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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