I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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