she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
