Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
