Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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