Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize