the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
