Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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