I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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