I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
