butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
