Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
