i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
