don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
