Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Randomize
