I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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