What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
