escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
God, I missed his penis.
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