OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
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he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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