sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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