I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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