You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
