You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
