I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize