All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i think im in europe. pls send help
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
