Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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