i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
