I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
