Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude i'm inner monologue high
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize