We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
