I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
