well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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