Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
