yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I sprained my soul last night
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
