my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
