idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
