dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
