Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
