she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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