Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
