Don't you send me to vm
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
