Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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