Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
