im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
