I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
