Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
